Stress!!!

This week has started out very stressful. On Monday and Tuesday DH and I were stressed that he would be a part of the layoffs at his company. Thankfully, he wasn't.

My other main stressor is Mother's Day. This is always a tough holiday for me and it's hard on DH too with his mom being gone. I mailed the Mother's Day gifts/cards to mom and grandma today so that part is over. However, for the first time in over 7 years I will have to attend Mother's Day service at church. Why? Well, because with my new calling I am in charge of the little darlings singing their Mother's Day songs in the Sacrament meeting. ARGH! If that wasn't bad enough, I will also have to hang around 2nd and 3rd hour but not actually teach. They are having the men in the Elders quorum teach (including music) so that we can go to Relief Society. Ick! I'm really stressed about this. I don't know how to handle it. I am fine with the focus on Mother's... I have a great mom and have a great grandma and other wonderful women in my life that are fantastic mom's. The part that is hard for me to stomach is the going on, and on, and on, and on about how nothing is as rewarding as motherhood, how it is the highest calling any woman could want, how you never know your worth until you are a mother. THAT is the part that is hard to handle as woman struggling with IF. Plus, they always have a gift that the ward gives the mothers at the end of sacrament meeting. They announce, "we have a gift for all the women in the ward, because you are all mothers." Bull sh*t. When I use to attend Mother's Day service I would try to sneak out before that announcement, and inevitably, someone would see me sneak out and bring me a gift and then try to make me feel ok about it. STRESS! Plus, the kids don't really know all the words to the songs. The older ones do, but they rarely sing out loud during performances (you remember the age- awkward) and the little ones only know one of the songs really well.

As a consequence of this stress this week I have had a grand total of 9 hours of sleep over the past two nights. I am bone tired, but unable to fall asleep, or stay asleep. I hope that tonight is different (after my 1st class of yoga for fertility) and I'm able to sleep. I need it!