I spilled my guts

Yesterday I felt like crap. The new metformin dose (1500 mg) is kicking my butt. I called in sick. It was nice to sleep most of the day. Last night my good friend called. She worked with me at the childcare center where I met the family I currently nanny for. She knows them well. I had emailed her earlier in the week and mentioned I was depressed, but that I couldn't tell her why. She responded and asked if she could do anything. So last night she called and said, "check your email." She had sent another email with a list of guesses as to why I was depressed. I finally told her. She is the best. She immediately understood why I was upset. She and her partner are also ttc and haven't had luck yet. She commiserated with me on the phone for over an hour. It felt so good to talk to her and not burden my poor hubby again with the same old stuff. Then this morning she called me on my way into work to tell me she loved me and that it would be o.k. I love her!

Today was good! My boss actually went to work. The oldest was at preschool and the toddler was dry all day! This is only his 3rd day in underwear. I was able to take it easy, and we stayed home the entire day except for the preschool run. All was well until the bosses were late getting home from work. They breeze in and don't even apologize. I grab my stuff and say goodbye to the boys. The moms said "oh, is it 6 o'clock already?" To which I reply, "nope, it's 5:50 I'm leaving because I got her at 7:30 today." Still... no apology. She comes back with. "Wow! I totally forgot. I guess is pregnancy brain." ARGH!!! She's going to use that excuse already? She's 6 WEEKS PG! Plus, I can count on 1 hand the number of times I'VE been late to work. And when I am I always call and then apologize profusely when I arrive.

AHA I caught it!

I had all but given up on this cycle. Then today when I got home from work I thought "what the heck" I'll do one more OPK test. And low and behold... it was + for an LH surge! Yippee! I detected the surge. Now I just need to watch the next few days to figure out if I actually ovulated via a sustained temperature rise. This really made my day. The rest of my day prior to this event was CRAP-TASTIC!

Today at work was really difficult. My boss had a rough weekend pregnancy-wise and wanted to tell me ALL about it. She asked me to make the sandwich for school today because she was too nauseous to do it. Well, I was feeling a bit green this morning as well, but sucked it up and did it. I said to her "wow, I was sick all weekend too." She replied "Oh really?" To which I said, "Yes, but not for the reason you were sick." And she says (CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THIS) "Well you wouldn't want to be sick this way." I said "I would LOVE to be sick for your reason." She just laughed and brushed it off. It's so infuriating! My poor hubby got an earful this morning about it. He suggested I tell her how it is upsetting me, but based on the reaction I got this morning I really don't think she would care and/or understand my position. I think I'm going to spill her secret before too long.

Also, the little one started wearing his "big-boy underwear" today which meant we were running to the bathroom every 20 minutes. Ahhh... potty training... I wouldn't wish it on anyone. :) But the good news, is that he is doing a great job. I hope he continues to be excited about it and it will move along smoothly.

Here eggy, eggy, eggy....

To prepare for future donor IVI's at home I've been doing a few things.

1. Try to lose weight.
2. Save $$$
3. Chart my cycles

So, the 1st one I'm doing ok on. So far, I have lost 15 lbs. I would like to lose about 60, but I know that will take time. The 2nd one I'm not doing very well. I haven't saved anything yet! I need to work on cutting my expenses and saving the $$ I cut. The 3rd one I've been doing, but that is what is driving me crazy! I have been using Fertility Friend (an online charting board) to enter my temps & other symptoms. Last month I don't think I detected ovulation. This month I determined I would use and OPK 3 times a day to make sure I "caught" my LH surge. Well, I'm on CD 18 and I still am getting BFN on my OPK's! I'm starting to worry that I'm not ovulating on my own anymore. When we were ttc I could always predict my ovulation. But it's 3 years later and I'm 3 years older. I'm afraid I may not be ovulating. I'm currently taking metformin, prescribed by my midwife, to help lose weight. I wonder if that is messing with my cycles? Anyway, it's REALLY frustrating.