Sing, Sing, Sing... I love to sing

In my church, there are not paid positions. All of the callings on a ward (local) level are voluntary, and you are "called" to the position and then given a blessing (set apart) to help you do your best in the calling. I have previously been the Primary (this is the children 2-hour portion of church ages 18 months-12 years) Presidency Secretary. I have done this role for the past 2 1/2 years. I've enjoyed it but have really missed teaching. Last Saturday I was awoken by a phone call from a Bishopric member in my ward. He asked to come over to see me that day. I couldn't go back to sleep. I was SO excited! I knew that there were 3 positions in Primary open that we've had trouble filling so I assumed that I would be given one of them. He finally came over at 11 and asked me to the Primary Music Leader. I immediately said yes. I really believe that music is the way to testify to the children that Jesus loves them and that all of the principles of the gospel are more effectively taught and retained by the children through music. I was so happy that Sunday when they called me and they gave me a blessing to set me apart. In the blessing I was blessed that I would be able to teach the music to the children in such a way that they would always remember me and all of the valuable lessons taught through the music. There was also a personal portion in the blessing. It is very sacred to me, so I won't share it here, but the Bishop choked up a bit when he gave it to me and I know it was a message to me from my loving Heavenly Father. It has given me much comfort this week.

Today was my debut as Music Leader. I taught the 2nd verse to a song we learned this month for our Sacrament Primary Program (yes, I'm in charge of that music now) and then we learned two songs to sing for Mother's Day. We also sang a song about Jesus and the Resurrection. I loved every minute of it. I was TERRIFIED at first, but once I was up there it seemed to flow smoothly. Everyone said that it went well (I hope they are being truthful) and it felt right. I know that all of my preparations this week and prayers really helped the children learn the music and feel the spirit. I hope that I'm able to sustain this joy of singing for the children and continue to make an impact on their lives each week.

This Week

This week was a roller coaster of emotions. I'm not quite sure why, but at acupuncture on Friday Dr. T helped me to even out a bit. I seemed to run the gamut of all emotions, but the predominant one was anger. I don't know where this is coming from and quite honestly, I didn't really try to figure it out. I more or less ignored it or used that energy to clean house, exercise or get things done for my new church calling. I'm not angry at anyone in particular, I just have this rage (it's not that violent, but I don't know what else to call it) bubbling under the surface. The other two predominant emotions have been sadness and feeling overwhelmed. I also had joy and excitement, and I've had some fun this week, but poor DH really stepped into a hornet's nest a few times and unfortunately bore the brunt of my anger one night which I'm not proud of. I'm praying that this week I'll find more peace or be able to figure out where these feeling are coming from and somehow resolve them.

Pre-IVF Appointment

I just got off the phone with our fertility center and have scheduled our last appointment before IVF starts. I'm so nervous/excited/scared/hopeful! It's for the 1st Friday in June, the 5th. It will be with Dr. O and he'll cover the actual timeline for us and give us all our prescriptions and answer any questions. I hope the next 6 1/2 weeks go fast!

Birthday Weekend

My sister came up from Salem this weekend to celebrate her upcoming birthday. It was so much fun! She arrived Friday night and we talked, played games and ate some yummy food until late, late at night. The next day we slept in (sort of- another post) and then had a quick protein shake and headed out for lunch. I did a bit of a cheat and ate some regular bread (instead of gluten free) with lunch. We then headed back home and C met us and the three girls went to the spa for a spa package. We all had foot soaks, green tea salt scrubs, massages, scalp massages and the swiss shower. It was heavenly and relaxing. After the spa we went out for yummy Indian food (my sis's fav) and then came home for presents, cake, ice cream and game time. On Sunday we went to church and then had an early lunch/dinner before she headed back home. Overall, it was a perfect weekend.

RESET program

Well, DH and I finished the RESET bar/shake program on Thursday. We each weighed ourselves on Friday morning and... I lost 4 lbs!! I'm super excited! DH lost 8 lbs. and he is happy too. I ate food again on Friday and all went well. Weighed myself again today (I really should only weigh myself 1 x a week as I get obsessive, but anyway) and I still am at a 4 lb. lost. Hopefully, my metabolism is reset now and I can eat the new way- slightly modified from what I've been doing- and continue to lose weight.

Trial Embryo Transfer a Success

I had the trial embryo transfer done today. For the procedure I had to come in with a full bladder. I went in and it was SUPER full. The tech took me back and then looked at everything with an ultrasound. She proclaimed the bladder was "perfect" (look at me being perfect :) ) and then got the Dr. The Dr. came back and they did the practice. She did a culture and then she used the same catheter that they use for the embryo transfer. It was painless, no cramping, no bleeding and it was all done in less than 3 minutes. I expressed my shock and happy surprise about the whole painless part to the Dr. She was surprised that I'd had problems with IUI's in the past because it was so easy to visualize the cervix and get the catheter in. (This is funny, because she did the SHG that was so painful and difficult) I reminded her of the SHG and she said that she thought the bladder helped "straighten" everything out. Yeah! One less then I can stress about with the whole IVF.

Food, food, food

I'm on day 4 of the RESET program. I'm hungry. The shakes and bars are not cutting it. I want real food. I can't wait until Friday when I'm back to normal food. On the plus side, I weighed myself last night and I've lost 1 lb. I hope that by the end of the week I will be down a couple more lbs. DH and I decided to forgo our FoodTV shows while we are on the RESET program because it is so frustrating!

I've noticed at work that my patience has become a bit thin. The girls always take a long time to eat, but it seems to be longer than normal... probably because I'm watching every bite they take. I've decided that the only temperature of food they like is luke warm and/or room temperature. They let their cold stuff warm up and their hot stuff cool off because it takes them SO long to eat! Today they each took over and hour to eat breakfast. The little one took 45 minutes to eat her 1/2 a sandwich and "cutie" orange. ARGH! I hope that tomorrow I'll have a bit more patience.

Happy Easter!

It's Easter, and unfortunately, I'm still sick. I'm not sure if my allergies are horrible and thus making me have this hacking cough, or if I've got what the kiddos had all week long. Either way, I had to stay home from church today because of lack of sleep last night and my horrible cough. There is nothing worse than trying to enjoy a sacrament service at church and have someone nearby hacking away so you can't hear a thing. On the plus side, I get to spend the whole day with my DH. He ran to the store to get some meds for me, and I hope that will help.

Today is day 1 of the RESET program. I have all the shake supplies and bars plus fruit and veggies to fill out the rest of the day. The whey protein shakes are really yummy. Much better tasting than the stuff I got at Whole Foods. The bar was good, but extremely dense and dry. I haven't felt hungry yet, so that's good. I'm hoping after 5 days of this, I'll have lost some weight and can then move on with the gluten free/cow dairy free for a month and drop around 10 lbs.

I am officially signed up for a private fertility yoga lesson at the end of this month. I'm really excited to get a jump start on this and know how to do it at home. I'm also trying to register for the weekly class that will start in May. It's 8 weeks 1x a week. I'm still trying to find a NIA class that meets 1x a week that is convenient with my schedule. So far, I've only been able to find one that is 2x a week and that is a bit much to do along with the yoga. Hopefully, with all of this plus my acupuncture and meditation I will be able to reach my weight loss goal before undergoing IVF.

HSG

Done. The whole procedure (x-ray part) took under 2 minutes. Everything was fine. Both tubes are open and the uterus is fine and perfectly shaped- albeit tilted. I cramped when the catheter was inserted, but Dr. K didn't have trouble getting it in. The dye burned and I cramped when it entered. I'm cramping/spotting now, but doing much better than last time around. I'm going to take it easy the rest of the day.

Relaxed

I just got home from a fun girl's day with one of my BFF's B. She is awesome. She is one of the few in our circle that I've told about our upcoming IVF. She is super excited about it for us and I love that excitement. DH is out-of-town for a friend's wedding so we planned to have a fun girlie day. We met for lunch at our favorite Mongolian place and caught up on each other's lives and then we went and had a super relaxing manicure/pedicure. It was so much fun. I miss being able to meet up with B for play dates at work, but I'm so grateful that she's in my life. I'm so blessed by my friends continuing love and support for me and DH through this next IF hurdle.

Nutritionist Wisdom

I met with a nutritionist last week that specializes in food for fertility. After meeting with her she sent me what looks like a great nutrition program. I have followed it for the past week and lost 2 lbs. already! Here it is:

Intentions:
1. Weight loss (goal normal BMI)
2. Improve fertility
3. Reduce Stress

Awareness practices: bring a sense of peace and calm each day; all relaxation practices support proper nervous system function.

• Acupuncture with Tiffany
• Meditation
• Baths or foot soaks with Epsom salts
• Fertility Yoga w/L Jensen
• Sleep - in bed before 10 and asleep before 11. At least 7.5 hours of sleep per night

Exercises: daily gentle exercise that replenishes and gets blood flow circulating- at a moderate exertion level

• Walking or light running 6 days a week
• Fertility yoga at home DVD's
• NIA
• Resistance band strength training DVD

Additions to fertility diet

1. RESET program

2. Visualize a plate mostly filled with cooked veggies, some grains (quinoa, brown rice, gluten free oats) and hand sized portion of protein

3. Organic and hormone free- ALWAYS meats, eggs and dairy

4. Enjoy soups and grains slowly simmered in water to support digestion and reproductive organs. Add an inch of dried seaweed to benefit from the healthful minerals.

5. Drink 1/2 hour before eating and 1/2 hour after, room temp water. Drink at least 14- 8-ounce glasses of water per day.

6. Protein/carb balance at every meal and snack and continue eating every few hours- this is the best thing to do for your metabolism

7. Replace refined carbs and wheat

8. Dairy- try goat dairy products, almond or hemp milk

9. Dark leafy green- high chlorophyll content (kale, chard, spinach); cruciferous vegetables to metabolize excess hormones including broccoli and cauliflower, also pungent vegetables and spices

10. Fruits- apples, pears, dark berries

11. Good fats- olive oil, avocados, nuts and seeds, flax oil

12. 80/20 balance- dark chocolate contains arginine, which helps with circulation- remember to include occasional "treats" that support the pleasure feeling

SHG

This month/cycle I’ve scheduled the rest of the tests and procedure I need done before we can move ahead with our IVF cycle this summer. The first test was today, the SHG. I’ve never had this one done before and was told over the phone that it was “quick & painless.” I arrived at the RE’s office about 10 minutes early and waited about 10 minutes past when my appointment was. I was then escorted to a room and told to disrobe from the waist down and that the nurse would then knock on the connecting door when it was ok for me to go into the U/S room. I went in and she asked me to sit and she got the RE. This is an RE I’ve not met before and she seemed really nice. She showed me all the implements, and I was familiar with almost everything. She then described what she would do and went ahead and did it. Not surprisingly, she had difficulty getting the catheter threaded into my cervix. She had to get another tool to make the tip stiffer to thread it in. This caused some MAJOR cramping and pain. She apologized and then she went ahead and filled my uterus with saline and proceeded with the U/S. I was super nervous that they would find something wrong and that we wouldn’t be able to proceed with IVF, however everything was fine. My uterus looked “perfect” and my ovaries each had 8-9 follicles waiting to develop and everything was on track for where it should be. After the U/S she apologized again and I went back next door and got dressed.

I stopped at Trader Joe’s on the way home to get some dinner and then went home and called DH (he’s at a friend’s wedding in CA) to fill him in. By this point I was freaking out that I cramped during the procedure. From everything I’ve read it is CRITICAL that the uterus not cramp when the ET is done. I can only remember 1 or 2 IUI’s that did NOT have cramping involved. My cervix apparently is very difficult to locate and thread a catheter through. DH calmed me and we discussed me asking about this issue at my scheduled “trial transfer” later in the month.

I have the next test scheduled for Monday and it’s the HSG. I’ve had this done before and from what I remember it hurt a LOT, and I was out of commission for the rest of the day. Dr. Opie assured me that they are much better at it, and I won’t feel a thing, but I’m going to call in sick to work just in case and lay around all day. Luckily, I have 1 pain med left from my diagnostic lap and I’m going to take it right when I get home on Monday.

Now that I’m home, I’ve read a bit more about SHG’s on the internet and it sounds common to have cramping and spotting so I’m not as worried, but I still will ask about the cramping and ET.