Guilt

Guilt. I’m feeling it big time right now in regard to my employers. They are very attached to me (both the parents and kids) and while I’m grateful for my job and most days have fun and find it fulfilling, I have very deliberately not become attached to them. You see, I knew the day would come where I would be undergoing IVF and probably have to leave my job. This morning mom boss was talking to me and telling me about some very personal stuff going on with her sister. It might have been a good time to bring up our IF and upcoming IVF… but I’m a chicken. I really want to wait until I have some sort of a plan with Dr. Opie and then bring the process to my employers. I have a feeling they will be pretty unhappy with me. Yikes. So, so, guilty. They’ve had such a rough go with nannies that I feel even worse. I feel like I’ve misled them this whole time. But, on the other hand, if they knew I don’t know if they would keep me on or would start looking for a new nanny right away. Uncertainty. At least the final IVF consult has been moved up a couple of days. It’s now on Wednesday, June 3rd. I’m still planning to email them that Friday and go from there.