Stress

This week has been another stressful one. Things have slightly calmed down on the work front. It is calmer, in my opinion, because the girls Auntie went back home. The mom is still in the hospital and hopefully will be home next Sunday.

We had a couples counseling session on Wednesday which was good. We were able to figure out what we are thinking of doing for future cycles. For right now we are taking a break. I am planning on talking with my acupuncturist this week about a timeline for trying IVF again. We are thinking that we will move to this more aggressive IVF in a few cycles. This will hopefully give my body time to recover a bit and grow strong again to support a pregnancy.

I had decided to take this Sunday off from my music responsibilities at church. I started calling and emailing women in my church to be a sub for me on Thursday. I didn't hear back from many until Friday. I only found someone for 1 of the hours. I then ended up calling more women on Saturday to find someone for the 2nd hour. It was such a hassle and more stressful than I had hoped. I had to contact 10 women to find coverage. STRESS!!

Emotionally I have had ups and downs this week. Yesterday and today have been a down day. I'm missing my baby. I keep thinking of what might have been and it's sad. DH has been sad too. He said in our therapy session how much harder it was for him to deal with our miscarriage now that we know she was a girl and have named her. He said it seems more real now. For me, it has helped to name her. It DOES seem more real. We had a daughter and she has passed away. Now we can begin grieving her before we move on to try again.

The name we chose for our daughter is: Rowan Emma. I'm so pleased that we found such a beautiful name for our little one. I ordered both of the memorial necklaces, and they should arrive next week. I can't wait to have something to wear and to physically touch to daily remind myself of our little girl.