20w1d

Wow! I'm 20 weeks pregnant! I can't believe it! I am so grateful to have made it this far with healthy babies. I'm so blessed to have this opportunity to be pregnant and experience this time with my little ones. I am incredibly lucky that each of our IVF transfers has resulted in a pregnancy. I am overjoyed that my little guys are thriving and do so well.

Now with all that being said many things have happened this week that I need to complain a bit about. I feel bad complaining, as I am so grateful that I was able to get pregnant and this time stay pregnant, but as my therapist pointed out that doesn't mean I can't gripe a bit like other pregnant women.

My midwife's office phoned on Wednesday to let me know that they had received the report about my high blood pressure from MFM. Sharon explained to me that with this added complication I am now too high risk for them to provide my care. She told me they would be transferring my care to one of the OB's they work with in their practice. I felt like they were dumping me. :( I've been seeing these women for 10 years for well woman care and chose their group in particular based on their birth philosophies. Now I am being transferred to an OB and who knows what her practices and philosophies are regarding birth. It seems unfair that I no longer can choose my own provider because of factors out of my control ie: twins and high blood pressure. I know (logically in my non-emotional part of my brain) that this is the safest option for me and my babies, but it still is a bitter pill to swallow. She then transferred me to scheduling to transfer my scheduled appointments to the new Dr. I meet with the new Dr on the 23rd. I had one last appointment with one of the midwives on Friday. I love them so much, I was in tears telling her how frustrated I am to be shuffled to someone else. She was so sweet and understanding. She once again explained that they feel I'll get safer care with the OB and that their insurance won't actually cover them delivering me. She gave me a book about high-risk pregnancy and told me I can still call the midwives anytime for emotional support. I asked her a few questions about the OB, and she told me that she is a dedicated physician that gives 110% to her patients, but that yes- she has very different practices and philosophies from the midwives. :(

Work. I let my employers know that it was time for me to scale back and bring in the new nanny. I was hoping we could all work together to figure out a plan, but they decided the timeline and schedule without me. So.... I will be done with employment on the 16th. The new nanny starts Tuesday, and I'll have 2 days of overlap to show her the ropes. Then from Thursday through the next Thursday, I'll work afternoons and she'll work mornings (she committed to work afternoons for her current family for the next 2 weeks). It's harder letting go of this job than I thought it would be. My little 3-year-old is having an extremely hard time with it. Her parents explained that I had to rest at home to take care of the babies, but she is unhappy about that solution. Her solution is for me to lie in her bed, and she'll take care of me. How sweet is that? I have been trying to be upbeat and excited about the new nanny and telling her how much fun it is. After I say anything about the new gal, the little one will say "I only love YOU, Miss Emily." It's a hard concept for her to wrap her mind around that she can still love me and the new nanny. I hope the next 2 weeks go smoothly.

The blood pressure meds seem to be working which is great. They make me really sleepy, so I've been taking them at night right before bed. This makes waking in the night for bathroom trips tricky, as the meds also make me dizzy and lightheaded, but it is better than taking them during the day.

This week I met with two of my best friends to start planning my baby shower. I still can't believe that I'm going to have a baby shower! They are great, and they wanted me to just give my opinions on a few things. The shower is planned for the 1st week in October. My parents and grandmother will be driving up from Utah, and my sister will be driving up from Oregon for it. I'll be 24 weeks pregnant, and hopefully still just resting at home and not on bedrest or in the hospital at that point.

Today will most likely be my last day doing music with the children at church. The leaders of the children's organization know what is going on with my health and have been supportive of my leaving at any point that I feel it is right. I would love to continue doing this job, but I don't think I can do it much longer. I would rather they find someone to replace me now then have to find an emergency replacement at some point when I have to stop outings completely.  I'm still planning on going to worship each week (as that is sitting) and then I'll just leave after that to rest at home instead of working with the children.