AF showed last Friday. Early. This is good I suppose. With it here the bloating has gone down a bit, and my pain is almost gone. I called the RE on Monday to find out my new protocol.
The nurse I don't like, Melinda, called back to tell me she would email me my new protocol. It appears I'm going to be on the MicroDose Lupron Flare protocol. She called later on Monday to make sure I received the email and to tell me she would call Tuesday (today) with a prescription list. She then called the house phone (DH was working from home) and told him that she would email me the list. I'm not sure why she couldn't call the phone number I've listed as my DAYTIME number (cell) but whatever. I got home and checked my email. No prescription list. I emailed her to request she call me tomorrow. Very irritated with her. GRRR!
It appears that this cycle will not have the ET or ER at the end of October as I had been worried about. I'm hoping that the ET and ER will fall during my employers scheduled vacation in early November. It all depends on when my next period arrives and if all the follicles have gone away and not turned into cysts.
Emotionally I'm blah. I feel pretty worthless. I'm frustrated that my body didn't respond the way it should have. I'm upset that I developed OHSS with so few follicles. I feel like everything that went wrong was my fault. I'm feeling a lot of guilt about the whole mess that the cycle turned out to be.
This week one of my best friends is getting married in Las Vegas. She had originally asked me to be a bridesmaid. After discussing it with the RE in June, he told me he didn't want me flying during the 1st trimester, so we called it off. Now I feel tremendously guilty because I'm NOT pregnant and technically could attend the wedding this weekend. I wish we had some magical money that would appear so I could be there, but we are scraping to come up with the money for the meds and ultrasounds and blood work for this upcoming cycle.
Since the cycle was cancelled, I've been hiding at home. Socially that is. I've done what I've had to: go to work, go to church, go to the store. I still don't really feel up to social stuff, but I feel like I have to go. I mean, what's my excuse for not going? I'm physically feeling better and I don't have to be home at a certain time for injections. I feel such a loss over this last IVF cycle and really, there wasn't even anything to lose. It's not as if there was an embryo we transferred or anything, they were just follicles with the potential to have eggs in them.
I'm so rambly tonight... off to bed with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment